Big Shot's Haven

Look Who Flipped Her Lid

2007-02-17T18:51:00.000-08:00

And to think, everyone thought she was the smart one for dumping Kevin Federline. Who's crazy now?

Please click the link below before reading further.

http://thebosh.com/archives/upload/2007/02/the-new-britney-spears.jpg

Now to be fair, is there anything wrong with a woman shaving her head? No, of course not. Natalie Portman looked just fine in V For Vendetta. It's not that she shaved her head. It's why she shaved her head. Now, this is just one Big Shot's opinion, but I think she did it for the same reason I think she had that 55 hour marriage to the guy from Seinfeld. Simply for publicity. Shameless self-promoting publicity.

See, Britts attained superstardom at a rather young age. Around 16 if I'm not mistaken. Even younger if you count that stint on the Mickey Mouse Club. So, being in the limelight is all she really knows. Her albums, for the most part, were released close together. And any time there was a gap, it was filled with some stunt to keep her name in the news. Like oh, I don't know, kissing Madonna on the MTV Video Music Awards (which really was no big and got completely overdone by the media) or marrying and then divorcing that Jason Alexander douchebag in all of less than 3 days. Cause good publicity and bad publicity end in the same result, they keep your name in the news, and your face in people's heads. Unless it's really bad publicity, then people wind up hating you and you are forced to pick up what's left of the shards of your life and career with your bare hands, which hurts cause they are sharp too. Kinda like what happened to Mel Gibson. (Maybe he shoulda just taken a page from Braveheart and mooned the cop, it would have gone over a little smoother) So, getting back to my point, the li'l lady with the initials BS (which couldn't be more fitting by the way) shaved off all her hair. I'm calling it another stunt just to keep her name around. I mean, now that the whole divorce story is winding down, she needed something to keep her name fresh. Or, maybe she has just gone loopy. I mean, she was partying with Paris Hilton after all. Not to mention flashing her "toxic region" while partying, proving that she goes commando (or commandette) So, maybe she has gone crazy, but isn't that the nature of the beast. Celebrity tends to make most folks a little nutty, and that's just the way it is.

P.S. And before any of y'all say it, yes I know she didn't actually marry anyone from Seinfeld.

Still Alive

2007-01-20T17:27:00.000-08:00

Greetings to........well, anyone out there who actually still reads this. Judging by the lack of comments to my last blog, I'd have to say, not many. Granted, my last entry was about wrestling and not all my friends are wrestling marks like me.

Anyways, not a ton is new with your friendly neighbourhood Big Shot. Sad, I know.

I finally started watching Season 2 of Lost.

I am getting increasingly more frustrated with the store that's trying to pass as a comic shop here. I have a file there, yet they miss comics all the time that are ON my file. Most recently Civil War #6. JERKS! Yet, it's all I've got, unless I want to get them sent from Ontario, and that's a little costly.

I'll tie it off there for now.

Later Gators

Well, Well, Well

2006-11-28T18:19:00.000-08:00

It seems to me, that it seems to be, that I haven't posted on here in a long ass time. Well, to paraphrase the Voodoo Kin Mafia (watch NWA TNA people), I'm Baaaaack.

Speaking of the Voodoo Kin Mafia, I personally like the name. I'd like the name even more if it wasn't rooted in a personal dig at Vince MacMahon. Am I a big Vinnie-Mac fan? No. I have respect for all of his accomplishments, but having B.G. & Kip James (aka Road Dogg and Billy Gunn) bitch about how they were treated in the WWE is sad. Why? you might ask. Because they haven't been with the company for years. BG (Dogg for you non wrestling fans.......who have probably all stopped reading this so.........) anyhow, BG has been with TNA since 2002. A little late for bitching about your former employer, don'tcha think? I mean, it's not like I bitch about Walmart for being blue-vested douchebags, or Dollarama for being green-apronned douchebags......who fired me.........ASSHOLES!!!!

Anyway, I just think it's bad business. Get ratings and money and build a fanbase with positive efforts, instead of taking potshots at the competition. It's so....WCW. Plus, it's the sign of a loser. It reeks of desperation. All they're doing is mentioning the competition on there show.

I just felt like bitching about this. I know, not a great rant, but tough.

Later Peeps

So Far Away

2006-09-02T21:48:00.000-07:00

Hi,

Yeah I'm back to using song titles as titles for my posts. It's a Nickelback song, mind you, the song is just called "Far Away". But, I digress.

I want to also apologize for the extremely long absence from 'the Haven'. I moved into a place for 4 months and didn't get internet. I was lucky to check my email regularily. But still, I digress.

No, my main topic of this post, is simply on the close of my second year in Windsor. And also on my move. Most of you know, but to those that don't, I am moving to Alberta.

My second year was very different from my first. I had a total of 8 jobs in my first year in Windsor. I had one for my second year. I spent my first year complaining about being single and not finding any women who were interested in me. But in my second year I began dating Joanna.

I have met so many people who have touched my life. Sarah, Amanda, Joanna. Thank you for all you have taught and continue to teach me. I love you all.

Ian aka Shorty, thanks for being a true reliable friend. It means a lot. Hopefully we'll see each other soon enough since we'll be in the same province again.

Cannibal, we didn't agree on everything, and would butt heads from time to time, but you were still always there when I needed help. Thank you.

To the 'Dirty W' Backyard Crew. You guys are a blast! I'm gonna miss you all. Especially my four horsemen, Chazy, Holler, Pudge, and Rage. P.S. Tell Dave that I gave his walking dead comic to Cannibal, cause I thought I wouldn't see him before I left.

To my other Crew, Trev, Matt, Joe, Dave, Tristan, even tho I'm not a big Magic player, thanx for the good times.

Drea, I know we haven't talked much over the last while, hopefully we can fix that. Thank you for being a friend, not judging and just........understanding.

Adam, Danny, and Ray. My brothers. I don't know what to say. I love you guys. No one can replace you guys.

Cartoon Kingdom, Border City Comics, Rogues Gallery Comics, Millenium Comics. I'll miss you all. Hopefully I'll find someplace in Alberta to get my comic fix and aid my addiction.

Over the last two years I have racked up debt, bounced from one job to another, discovered Faith, met so many friends who have touched my life, and found Love. Joanna, there is no one I'd be happier with to have on this journey. I love you.

Not much left to say......... Heh, me of all people, at a loss for words.

Windsor, thanks for the memories.

Hoo Boy

2006-05-16T08:45:00.000-07:00

Hey All,

OK, yes, the title of my last post was "Movie Magic" backwards. But no one got it. But I'm not surprised cause my brain doesn't work on the same level as other people's. It is backwards due to the "magic" portion of it. It's an homage to Zatanna. A DC comics heroine who casts spells simply by saying what she want's to happen, backwards.

I have been busy as of late, hence the hiatus. I spent a week in Florida with Joanna and her folks. That was fun. Very touristy tho. I would have been happy just chilling on the beach or in the pool, but we did a lot of tourist things. Still fun tho.

This part weekend was the final New Wave Wrestling show. NWW Out With A Bang. It is a backyard fed for those not in the know. It was a ton of fun. I am sad that it's over tho. Not for the wrestling. I don't need to roll around on the ground till I'm 30. (which sadly is in 3 years) But NWW was the excuse for us all to get together. I worry that I may not see some of these people again.......that part is sort of depressing.

I did discover how much I missed hanging out with my friend Chazy. And he lives in Lasalle! So, I will make an effort to spend mre time with my friends who are close to me in distance.

OK, this a formal introduction for my birthday bash. My birthday falls on May 27. X-Men 3 opens on May 26. So, on the 27, I want to get as many people together as possible to go see it. So, if you're reading this, you are invited. If you live out of town, you're gonna have to find your own place to stay as I am still in the process of moving into my new place. I will hopefully post a time for when to see the movie. it will more than likely be at the Silver City on Walker here in Windsor. I will hopefully keep you all posted. If you have any questions, email me.

Cigam Eivom

2006-04-23T10:22:00.000-07:00

Hello Folks,

Sorry for the gap between posts. April's been a busy month for me. I am preparing to move and packing can be rather annoying. But fret not my loyal fans, this post has a purpose other than me just checking in. See, while at work, I think of various things to write about however, most often do not remember it, or have the time to do so. This is not one of those times.

I am here to talk about the movie adaptation. Far more often than not it is said that 'the book was better than the movie' so there isn't much need for me to touch on that. Also, I am really not much of a reader. *sigh*

No, my subject matter for this overcast April morni......afternoon is the target of the video game adaptation. Go ahead and snicker. You have every right to. Think about it. Most VGA (video game adaptations) are rather sad in their lameness. Maybe some for their time were ok, but none were really blockbusters. Super Mario Brothers, both Mortal Kombat movies (although I didn't mind the first one), Street Fighter, and more recently, Bloodrayne. (No, I haven't seen it, but despite being a huge fan of Rayne, I can pretty much bet it will stink up any dvd player with a stench most foul)

The only VGA that have come across as moderately entertaining are the Tomb Raider movies, and the Resident Evil movies. I was entertained by all four of them. Especially the second instalments "The Cradle of Life" and "Apocalypse" respectively. However, you speak to pretty much any real fan of either of those franchises and they will tell you how much those films deserve to be included with the likes of Street Fighter and the gang. There are a number of facts in the Resident Evil films that are wrong. I cannot remember which one's at the moment tho. But, it just goes to show you that, even tho it looks good, the real fans, the people that know the characters, still don't like it.

I can only hope that the VGA goes the route of the Comic Book Adaptation. See, CBA was a sad, sad property once upon a time as well. Long before the days of Batman Begins, X-Men, Spider-Man, and the others, there were films like Captain America and The Punisher. (I am refering to the Dolf Lundgren version....ugh)And of course, the original unreleased Fantastic Four movie. (I just threw up in my mouth a little bit) And everyone knows of the Batman films. I'm not really a fan of any of them. Because......wait, this deserves it's own paragraph.

I didn't like any of the Bruce Waynes. I'd give Keaton credit, but even he seemed a little too chipper for the role. I liked Catwoman. Although, mutant Penguin never appealed to me. He's supposed to be sophisticated.....I never liked Nickolson's Joker. Although, a lot of the problem was with the smiling prosthetic he wore. Then there was Jim Carry and Tommy Lee Jones as The Joker. Yes I know, They were the Riddler, and Two-Face, but they did horrible jobs because all they did was laugh thru the whole movie. Pissed me off quite frankly. Not as much however as the film that followed. Clooney as Batman..........so bad. Chris O'Donnell as Robin? (yes I know he was in Batman Forever as well, and he was too damn old for the role then too!) Uma as Ivy wasn't too bad, except for wardrobe. Yikes. And so many damn puns for Arnie Freeze. Sickened me. I honestly think they wanted to kill the franchise with this picture. It's the only explanation for how bad it is. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention..........BATGIRL WAS NEVER ALFRED'S NIECE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She was the daughter of Commissioner James Gordon. Or in some circles, the niece of Gordon who was treated like a daughter.

But, the CBA has seen a shining light in recent years. From Spider-Man, and X-Men, to Batman Begins and the soon to be released Superman Returns. we can only hope that the video game adaptation has a similar rebirth, and enjoys as much success.

As an aside, bonus points to whoever can figure out the title of this post and where it was inspired from.

Hulk Sue!!!

2006-03-30T11:52:00.000-08:00

Heard an interesting story on WRIF this morning on the way home from work. Lou Ferigno's brother Andrew owns a fitness store called Ferigno's. And apparently, Lou is suing his brother over use of the name. I mean, it's his brother. He has the same last name! Oh, and apparently Lou has gotten himself some $150 000 hoity-toity New York lawyer for this. This is just sad. But any publicity is good publicity, right? But come on.....this is just sad.

Sorry for the lack of posts of late. I usually just get online to check my email, so I am on frequently, just not for long periods of time. But I'm going to take a page out of my brother Adam's blog book, and try to post on one specific day every week. Hopefully it will work.

I suppose, only time will tell.

Oh, I am happy to say I have added Season one of Batman Beyond, and season one of Justice League to my geek collection. Still awaiting my Nightwing figure though. I'm sure you'll hear about it when I get it.

Losing Grip

2006-03-12T11:06:00.000-08:00

Hello my faithful readers,

Ok, so "Losing Grip" may not be the best title for this post, but as you all are aware, I like to use song titles as my blog titles. Although, I'm considering stopping that little trend, I'm not sure. But I digress.

No, the topic of today is, losing touch. I'll be the first to admit that back when I lived in Pembroke, I didn't have a lot of friends. I had some, but not a lot. And sadly, most of them do not talk to me very much. Hell the one I talk to the most (and even this isn't much) is my ex. Which is kind of sad, because I've never done well with staying friends after a break up. But to say we are as close as we once were would be a vast overstatement. I know she reads my blog, so I hope feelings don't get hurt (and I doubt they will) but we talk every few weeks on MSN. Which is still more than any of my other friends from Pembroke. Maybe it's the fact that Pembroke is a very small town and very little actually changes around there.........or maybe we all just lost touch.

My secondary Pembroke friends are ones that I met there and moved away, or I met through other Pembrokians. Like Clint, Paul, and Ray. I talk to Ray a lot. I would have completely lost touch with Clint if it weren't for mutual friends like Paul. Which is a little sad, since Clint and I were pretty close in high school. Paul stays in touch about as much as his lazy, no-emailing ass will allow. (don't look at me like that Paul, you know it takes you forever to reply to an email)

My Kingston/Napanee friends are a little different. Granted, I don't talk to all or a ton of them, but that's more a matter of just who I am closer with. I talk very regularily with Dan and Courtney. I talk every so often with Eddie and Val. And then there is my brother Adam. We could not talk for a month, and never skip a beat. I mean that in a good way though, like we wouldn't lose touch and drift apart. So, I can't say that I have lost touch with too many people there.

But even now I can see who my closest friends are. There are people in Windsor whom I have already started to lose touch with. That makes me kind of sad, but as the old adage goes, You know who your real friends are. I think it's more like You know who your real close friends are.

But, it's all just a part of life I suppose. Separate the aquaintences, from the friends, from the best friends, from the 4 - Lifers. But all the people in all of those categories hold a special place with me, because they're all a part of my life, at least at one point or another.

So take the time and look at who your friends are, and who means the most to you. Even let them know how special they are to you. Even if they already know, it's always nice to hear it again.

Jeff

Voices

2006-02-26T13:57:00.000-08:00

This is a little unlike me, especially since I haven't posted in such a long time. (I am really sorry for that guys & girls) But, over the last year or so, I have become a fan of the band Godsmack, and this is something lead singer Sully posted on their site.

Have you ever seen an angel?

Most of us would probably say no. I'll bet you by the end of this letter that you have.

Sometimes we walk through this earth aimlessly, too caught up in our everyday messes and responsibilities, to appreciate the beautiful things that the heavens have provided us with, to help balance our lives and keep us remembering the innocence of it all. (A gift we've lost over time)

Sometimes those gifts are "real life angels". People no different than you and me, we're just too busy to recognize them. But when and "if" we do recognize them, they'll teach us through their body language and actions, how to become better people, how to slow our pace down and take a breath once in awhile. To respect our loved ones, and not take for granted the simple things that life has given us. Especially the gift of time, which as we all know, goes quite fast nowadays.

On December 21st, 2005, only four days before Christmas, one of those angels was returned to heaven.

Jamie Tikkanen was as big of a fan as they get. I was introduced to her through a mutual friend of mine & my girlfriend Jen's. A few years ago, Jamie had sent us a letter that went on to explain how much she enjoyed our music. She even named her only child “little Sully", after yours truly! And the picture of her that accompanied the letter was strikingly beautiful. Her hair was long, brown and curly, and her pearly whites and smiling eyes would have had any man crawling on their knees. And lets not forget little Sully, "All you women better watch out. He'll be breaking hearts soon enough.

"Unfortunately, Jamie was diagnosed with a very aggressive and rare form of cancer. Tumors, (some the size of golf balls), had grown behind almost every major organ in her body, including her heart, liver and lungs, giving her almost no chance at all for survival.

By this time she had visited numerous amounts of doctors and specialists who all had given her at best, six months to live. Little did they know, that when you're dealing with a soul that has been sent here to teach us mortals the lessons of life, you can't dictate when they will go.

Year after year, Jamie and I stayed in touch through phone calls and visits. She would come to as many shows as she could. And over the years, myself, Jen and Skylar, little Sully and Jamie all became very close. She would keep us updated on her progress including new and advanced treatments she was being introduced to. And although the doctors, over and over again, would give her as little as a few months to live, like clockwork, Jamie would call me after that period of time and laugh at their analysis. "I'm still here", she'd say, "They're not getting rid of me that easy". She had a warrior spirit like I had never seen before, and she lived years past their diagnosis.

The day after Jen's birthday, on December 22nd, Jen woke me up with her face full of tears. She told me that Jamie had passed away. She was only 23 years old.

I remember feeling a lump in my throat and immediately thinking about little Sully, who is only 3 years old now and how sad and confused he would be without his mom on Christmas morning. I got right out of bed, sat with my little girl and began thinking about how lucky I am to still have time with my loved ones. I hope this story does the same for you.

It took me some time to actually write this letter. At first, I wasn't sure whether I should write it at all. However, knowing how much of a Godsmacker Jamie was, and how much she loved all of the fans, the music and the Godsmack community, I knew the right thing to do was to introduce her to all of you. And it wouldn't surprise me with her humbleness, that as I write this letter she's shaking her fists at me, while she's blushing up in heaven.

But most importantly, I shared this story with you so you will remember to never take your time here for granted.Open your eyes to why the people in your life are there. Your mom, dad, best friend, lover. . . Ask yourself, "Why do I love this person? Why do I fight with this person? What lessons have I learned from them? Would I miss them if they were gone?"

Be honest to yourself with your answers. Once you do that, ask yourself again, “Have you ever seen an angel?”

Blessed be,
Sully Erna

Hypnotize

2006-01-15T18:58:00.000-08:00

Well, well, well, Hello kids.

Welcome to my first post of 2006. How was everyone's holidays? Mine.....a little bit of blah. I was alone for some of it, so that was a bummer. That and I missed a certain someone during that time who has since come back to Windsor. This in itself makes my heart smile.

Sorry for the gap between posts. I will certainly try to keep the gap short but with so few people leaving comments it's hard for me to judge how often people check it, and I don't want to have a million posts on here for any of you to read. Oh, there I go again, thinking of others too much when I should be concerning myself with me. I mean it is my blog.

Here's a little something I do every year with my best friend Adam. What was your favourite Album and movie of 2005?

I know, most of you are expecting me to say Batman Begins as my favourite flick, and you'd be close. I mean I really did love it, but it would be second, or maybe tied with another. I thoroughly enjoyed The Chronicles of Narnia. So it is a toss up between the two. Fantastic Four was another notable one, but Batman it was not.

As for album, hands down System of a Down Mezmerize/Hypnotize. Yes, both were released as separate cds, but it was meant as a double-disc album, they just released both discs 6 months apart.

Suppose that's all for now. Sorry for not having any profound words this outing, maybe next time.

Peace & Love

Jeff

Deck The Halls

2005-12-31T14:18:00.000-08:00

Well, here it is. My last post of 2005. It's been a very exciting year for me. I have changed and grown so much. And met a lot of new friends. I look back on the past year, and even though there were some bad times, some hardships, I can look back and smile, because of where I was and where I am.

Jeff

White Christmas

2005-12-24T09:09:00.000-08:00

Festive greetings my friends,

I just want to wish you all a very happy and healthy holiday. Regardless of your Faith, or what you celebrate, I hope it is a joyous occassion.

Joanna, I wish I was in Orangeville with you. I guess we're both kicking ourselves for not trying to plan ahead. Oh well. Maybe I'll see you in a couple days. Love you.

Adam, last year was great. I know, we just watched movies and played video games, but I spent Christmas with you, my brother, and that's what made it special.

Amanda & Tristan, I wish you safe travels and the best wishes to both your families. See you soon.

Drea, I look forward to your call. It'll be a nice break from sitting around by myself.

My room, mark my words, you will get cleaned.

To all of my friends and family.....and extended family, I love you all. Happy Holidays.

Jeffles The Elf

It's A Lie

2005-12-16T16:31:00.000-08:00

Welcome one and all to the exposition of greatness that is.......my blog.

Ok, so we all know the whole thing with Santa Claus. We've heard the stories, seen the holiday specials, etc. etc. But, what I want to know is, how did you find out that Santa was fake? Well, I prefer staged, because Santa is sort of like wrestling in a way that we are made to believe it is real when in fact it is not what we percieve. So, Santa is a gimmick. But yeah, how did you find out? Funny story.....did you bawl?

Me, personally was kind of typical. I found out at school from another kid. I forget how old I was. But, as the years went by, the evidence seemed to lean more and more in favour of him being a 'work'. (wrestling term for an angle or storyline) Then one day my Dad came to me and was like "You know the truth about Santa right?" Now I wasn't overly young, so it wasn't like some traumatizing thing, but yeah, I knew. And that was that. Although my Mom would still wrap presents and put from Santa on the tags. I think the holiday season is her favourite time of year.

See, I want to hear from you guys. Share. It's what the comments section is there for.

Jeff

With David Bowie

2005-12-13T13:18:00.000-08:00

No Bowie in the subject matter today Kids. I just have that song in my head. Ah, Veruca Salt......

So, unlike most of my posts, I have no point to this one. Granted.........*sigh* I say that a lot. Sorry, but it's been brought to my attention that I use certain words or phrases repeatedly, and I just noticed that "granted" is one of those words..........I hate when people point stuff like that out to you, and then after, you notice all the habitual words you say.......ugh.

Anyways, granted, I could rant about the current state of music, which is a post I've been meaning to write for a while. Or, better yet, I could discuss the shite that passes for cartoons nowadays. But I'll save those for another day. I figure, I have a week off from work, I'll need something to do.

So this is me, pretty much just lettin you all know I'm alive and kickin.

Jeff

Love Me Two Times

2005-11-30T21:31:00.000-08:00

Ok folks, here's a little story about some professional wrestlers. Although, I encourage you to please read it, even if you are not a wrestling fan. It has relavance, trust me.

Several months ago, back in February or March, the wrestling world was surprised to hear that Matt Hardy and Lita (Amy Dumas) had split up. Now, this wasn't a gimmick......well, it was after, but the two were a real life couple as well. And it was a real split. See, Lita cheated on Matt. She cheated with one of his closest friends, Edge (Adam Copeland). It wasn't long before all the internet fans found out about this. So, before you knew it, Lita (who was a face, aka a "good guy" er, I mean girl) was getting booed at the shows, and recieved 'SLUT' chants. It got so bad that she was becoming distressed over it. Almost unable to do her job due to a few thousand people chanting "SLUT, SLUT, SLUT" Who could blame her? I mean, cheating on a significant other, a slut does not make. Matt Hardy had written about this whole experience on his personal website, and was promptly fired for doing so. I grew rather sick of the fans reaction. I mean, truth be told, it was none of their business. It was only Edge, his wife Lisa, Matt and Lita's business. That's all.

Things have settled since then, Matt's back working for WWE, and Lita's now a heel (bad) but my main point here stems from the original act.

1. If feelings developed between Amy and Adam, it's not something they should have kept from Matt and Lisa (Edge's wife at the time). They should have simply owned up to it and said " we didn't plan for this to happen, but it happened" instead of sneaking around.

2. And this one'd never happen, the fans should have shut the hell up. The only people that this involved were Adam, Amy, Matt and Lisa. Granted, Matt did talk about this on his personal website, and even let Lisa vent her frustrations on said website, that doesn't give the world the right to label Lita a slut. But, it's tough to silence so many people. Hell, it's tought to keep a few....people quiet.

Ultimately, Edge & Lita were in the wrong here. None of this would have happened if they hadn't cheated. But that doesn't mean that they deserved to be treated the way they were.

There are lessons to be learned here kids.

1. Don't cheat. If you develop feelings for someone else, own up to it. It may be rough, but it's better than sneaking around behind their back.
2. Don't gossip. It's one thing if you are told about the situation, or approached for advice, but that doesn't give you the right to tell others.
3. If it's none of your business.......stay the fuck out!

Winter Wonderland

2005-11-24T08:22:00.000-08:00

I am utterly infuriated right now. I am sitting at the computer, forced to listen to the incesent meowing of one Ziggy Stardust, aka Ziggles, aka the bane of my existance. She will not shut up. 'Why?' you ask. Well, that's simple, because she wants food. Yes, I could feed her, but then Tristan will get up later, probably after I've gone to bed since I'm working the midnight shift this week, and feed her again. That in itself is simply rewarding her for her annoyance. I refuse to reward this cat for bad behavior. ...........She seems to have ceased for the time being, which will allow me to move on to the original point of this entry. THE SNOW.

See, I've always been a fan of the Christmas season, even as a child. And no, as a child, it was not all "presents, presents, presents". I loved decorating the house with my Mom. I still love decorating for Christmas, as Amanda can atest to since her and I (along with some help from Joanna and Tristan) decorated the apartment for the holidays. I also find this season to be somewhat romantic. I don't know, being cuddled up together under a blanket, drinking hot chocolate, playful snow fights, sitting by a fire. Nice romantic kinda stuff. After all, I am a big ball of sap when it comes to romance. But, the snow and ice, the wind, the cold...oh Gods the COLD, the horrible driving conditions, the general downward turn in people's moods, it's all got to go. I hate it. And it frustrates me how I can hate a season that I love so much.......if you follow me.

Sadly, there is nothing I can do to stave off winter. It is coming, nay, it is here. And I for one can't wait until Spring, when everything is renewed. Think warm thoughts.......think warm thoughts.........think warm thoughts.......

Until next time friends

Father of Mine

2005-11-16T14:35:00.000-08:00

Hey

Ok so I'm not sure where this post is gonna go to, I just feel the need to rant. See, I have two friends, two very close, dear friends of mine, who are both having father problems. It makes me appreciate the Homer-esque "doesn't show interest, but doesn't mean he doesn't care" approach my father has taken. But, this isn't about my Dad, so let me move on a little bit.

Ok, best friend #1. Her Father is being extremely selfish in my opinion. (I plan on making these somewhat anonymous, since it's not my place to spill the details) But yeah, he's being selfish and a real jerk. He's putting himself ahead of his family. And I don't mean skipping a family affair to go golfing (that was just an example, I figured golf is kinda Dad-like) no, he's pretty much abandoning his family. Granted, the guys kids are moved out for right now, but his kids are in school. What if they need to move back home for financial reasons? What about his own wife? He just doesn't seem to care and it pisses me off. What hurts even more is that there's nothing I can do, to help my friend. Yeah, I can tell her, "I'm here for you if you need to talk" But that can only be said so many times, before sounding like a broken record. I just wish I could help her.

Friend #2. OK, this one's a little more general. Also, another very close friend of mine, only her father is a bit of an ass all the time. She has flat out told me she hates him, and has told me why. Again, it's not my place to mention details, so I'm sorry you only get half a story here, but just go with me on this. Again, it's just frustrating to know that I can't do anything.

I guess, sometimes I wish I could be more than the shoulder to lean/cry/bitch on. But, sometimes, that's enough. So, to both of you (I hope you know who you are) I am here if you need to talk, or to rant.

Jeff

I Love Myself Today

2005-11-09T15:44:00.000-08:00

Hello one and all.

Yes, I know I said I was going to try to keep this little corner of the internet that I call home updated every week or so. Well, that was before the internet decided to die on me. It went down here at home and between work and Amanda & Tristen having school and work, we didn't get around to calling Cogeco fora while. But the important thing is, like Steven Tyler says, "I'm BAAAAAACK! I'm back in the saddle again."

OK, so a couple days ago I was thinking, what if I were born under a different astrological sign? Like, what if I was born under, for example, Aries or Leo? What if I had a little more "firey" personality? I would certainly fit in better in certain circles. So, these thoughts were running through my head when all of the sudden this thought popped into my head. Nooo!!! I can't be someone else, I love me too much. If I were a Leo, or a Taurus or something, I wouldn't be goofy. I wouldn't have that same constant urge to be protective of my friends. I wouldn't be the talker that I am. (I do have a penchant for rambling) I wouldn't be me. And for the first time in my life, I didn't like the thought of not being me. So, that was my big revelation. It took a while, but I'm starting to feel comfortable in my own skin. It's a nice feeling.

Oh, and for anyone not in the know, I cut my hair.......a bunch.

Love you all

Jeff

No Sex

2005-10-25T00:28:00.000-07:00

Greetings True Believers,

Here I sit, listening to the ever-sexy-sounds of the Deftones, and I'm thinking about sex.

See, I found out recently, that two friends of mine, who met thru me, and hardly know each other, slept together a few months back. Now, I'm not judging either of them here, it's just where my frame of mind is coming from. I was a little surprised mind you, but at the same time, I felt like I shouldn't have been. I mean, neither of them are strangers to casual sex. (Note: I am in no way putting either person down, or implying they are whore-ish, not that you neccessarily thought that, just covering my own ass I suppose) It just got me thinking, I mean, pretty much the general consensus of society is "Yay casual sex" yet here I am, twenty-six years old, and I've slept with only two different women. Both of which were my respective girlfriend at the time. Now, I'm not trying to be negative or say "what's wrong with me?" Hell, I know there's nothing wrong with me when it comes to that. I just get frustrated because my feelings tend to get in the way a lot.

Plain and simple, I'm not sure if I could do the casual sex thing. I mean, I never have so how am I to know? And pretty much every friend I have has done the casual sex dealie, so why not me? Why? WHY? Because I care too much, that's why. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I fall too easily with some girls.

I guess it's just frustrating because it's been two years since my last relationship, thus, it's been two years since the last time I took a spin between the sheets. So, I don't see me getting a girlfriend any time soon, mostly due to my lack of patience. Therefore, if I stay the same course I'm on, I won't get laid any time soon either. And that just plain sucks. So, the question is, where do I go from here?

Ugh, this entry sounded so much better in my mind. It's become more chaotic and just a rant, which wasn't my original vision. I just don't know why I can't look at sex and see, sex. I wind up seeing the whole relationship and everything. Like, I've fooled around with girls, but then afterwards, I get rather 'boyfriendy' meaning, I'm kinda clingy and want to be around the person, and occassionally "Hun" or "Sweety" or "Babe" comes out. Those are usually typical "girlfriend names" tho. So that's the stem of my problem. I just want to care too much. I want the relationship. I try to see more than what's right in front of me.

I just want to be able to sleep with a girl, and not wind up hurt if she meets another guy.

What I Like About You

2005-10-14T05:21:00.000-07:00

As some of you may know if you've read the other comments from my last post, my friend Sarah gave me a challenge to write down a list of things I like abaout myself. And yes, I intentionally used the word "challenge".

The old saying goes, "No one will love you if you don't love yourself first". Well, that's BS, cause people like me.......But, I seem to be having trouble with this list. I get told by some that I need to change things, like hairstyle, wardrobe, etc. Which leads me to question my attractiveness as is. So, I don't know if I like how I look. I like that I'm nice to people. Hell, sometimes I wish more people were as nice as me. There are too many jerks in the world. But, I've also been told that I'm a pushover. Well, ok 'pushover' was my word. But I've had people agree. I know why other people like me. Amanda & Joanna made me a list of 60 things they like about me. Mind you, some of them were superficial or silly. Example: #30. Doesn't meow or bite like Ziggy. So I'm not like the cat. That's not something that's exactly endearing to all. Besides, I do bite sometimes. (hotcha!) #37. Looks good in purple and olive green. (no, not together silly) I have a green shirt that I guess looks alright on me. And yeah, my suit's purple. And I do look pretty good in it. I kinda clean up well. But I dunno if that's something that belongs on my list. I'm a good listener. That's something that I've always liked about myself. It's less fun when no one's willing to listen to you tho. (I have plenty of 'listeners' now tho) I like my sense of humour. As stupid, goofy, and childlike as it is, I like it. But, I guess I do get annoying sometimes. I tend to be really hyper. I'm a big bundle of energy. That's fun. But, again, it annoys people. I've been told more than once to "calm down".

I guess a lot of it comes down to me thinking too much about what other people think of me. But that's the way I've always been. I always wanted to fit in. I've more or less moved past that but now, when I just try to be me, I constantly get critisized for it. Then I feel like I dress like a slob and have shitty hair. (those are just a couple of examples)

It's not like I hate myself. I'd never go that far. But there seems to be very little about myself that I really, genuinely like. At least without being able to put a negative spin on it.

I am Jeff's crippling negativity.
I am Jeff's cuddles. (I'm a good cuddle partner, so I've been told)
I am Jeff's ever-listening ear.
I am Jeff's shoulder, ready to be cried on.
I am Jeff's selflessness.
I am Jeff's self doubt.
I am Jeff's inability to say 'no'.
I am Jeff's wicked rockstar pose.
I am Jeff's poor video game playage.
I am Jeff's steadily broken, yet always mended heart.
I am Jeff's maturity, still feeling far too young for my years.
I am Jeff's horrible sense of direction.
I am, once again, Jeff's heart, which falls far too easily.
I am Jeff's genuine smile, whom you don't get to see very often.
I am Jeff's loneliness.

See, this was a mixture of things I like and dislike about myself. Why? Because it's all a part of me. I could mention all the good. (which was the point of this after all) But that doesn't take away all the bad. See, the things I like most about myself, aren't about myself. They're the feelings I have for other people. The feeling I have when I'm talking to Andrea online. Maybe helping her with a problem, letting her rant about something that pissed her off, or just being my usual "goofball" self. The feeling I get when I cuddle with Joanna. Knowing that I have someone close to me who cares about me. (even if it's not "in that way") The feeling I have when Amanda and me have one of our sippin' tea kinda talks. The feeling I get when I crack a joke that makes everyone else laugh. (instead of just look at me all weird) The feeling I get just hanging out with the guys. (Something that doesn't happen too often anymore) These are the things that I like.

The thing that I like most about me, is my ability to make others happy.

I would be nothing if it weren't for my friends. The people who care about me, love me, and who would do most anything for me. And, when I can make them smile, whether it be with a joke, a cuddle, or just by listening, I would do it in a heartbeat. Does that make me "too nice"? Maybe, but I don't care. Seeing my friends happy, makes me happy.

Peace

If I Only Had A Brain

2005-10-05T17:06:00.000-07:00

I am a lion. rowr. *makes timid clawing motin with hand*

Why are you a lion Jeff? I'm glad you asked. Quite simply, it's because I am a coward. At least when it comes to telling women how I feel. Now, before you turn around running out the door, this isn't gonna be some big fat depressing entry. Quite the contrary, I'm rather chipper. I'm just making an observation. See, when I like a girl, I never wind up telling her how I feel unless I know she feels the same way. Once or twice in high school I actually told a girl or two how I felt, but the results never went in my favour. So, I always take the coward way out and zip my lips on how I feel. Funny thing is, I'll blab on to all my friends about said girl, ask for advice etc. but I don't always take it, cause my friends are usually like "TELL HER ALREADY!" It's a vicious cycle that I consistantly go thru. The real problem would come in the form of, if the girl liked me as well, but was also a coward. Then we'd both wind up liking each other, and never say anything. Ugh, I can be so immature in some respects.

So yeah, I suppose I just wanted to ramble on about how cowardly I can be. It's one of the many things I need to work on. *rummages around for To-Do list. Adds 'Be less coward-like'*

So that's all for now Jeffinists.

The Perfect Drug

2005-10-02T02:19:00.000-07:00

I've come to a slight realization. I don't post on here very often. "The reason?" You might ask. Well it's simply because I've begun using this blog more as a form of entertainment for all of you, my loyal readers. All my Jeffinists. But, Due to me leading a rather dull life, I don't have too many overly entertaining things to write about. I suppose this all started with my Romance, The Other White Meat post. I got quite a few compliments for that one. So, after that I wanted to keep things entertaining for you. But, I sort of failed last week, simply because I was writing for the sake of writing. But that's a little different this week. I want to get back into the proverbial swing of things. So, check back often, cause I'm hoping to post once a week.......mind you, that's what I said when I first started this thing.

On the sad news front, my Aunt Solange died last Wednesday. The funeral was today. I wasn't overly close due to her and my Uncle Glen (my Mom's brother) living so far away from Pembroke. It wasn't until I moved to Windsor that I was closer to them, but I'm still a good hours drive away. I still wish I would have visited more over the last year. But, hindsight's 20/20. It's so surreal seeing the body in the casket. I mean, you're used to seeing a person who is asleep, but, this person is dead. It's a bit of a harsh reality. She wasn't too old either, really. She had just turned 49 5 days before she died. It makes me value life more. Not so much myself but people around me. I just want to scold any friends who smoke. (it was a tumor on her lung that killed her. I attribute it to her smoking) And I want to just tell everyone I love, that I love them. Because I just don't know when the last time I will see or talk to them. But, on to more cheerful topics.

After the funeral (yeah, this is happier already.......*sigh*) I came home and hopped onto the computer, mostly because I have no life to speak of, so I sit on the internet. That, and after a funeral, even tho emotionally I was ok, I didn't really feel like doing anything. So, I talked to my friend Drea. We talked for six hours. 1/4 of the day! I was somewhat surprised, just that the time went by so quickly. It didn't surprise me that we talked for six hours tho. Since first meeting and chatting on MSN, we clicked instantly. With all due respect to ALL of my friends, very few of them share a connection with me the way she does. And I can't think of a better way to waste a 1/4 of the day. Heh.

Oh, and as a little P.S. to this.........COMMENT!!! Rarely does anyone comment on my postses. Am I that boring? Gad!

Rock & Roll Hoochie-Coo

2005-09-25T20:33:00.000-07:00

Sad as it is, I don't have anything to write about. I just figured I should pro'ly post again, since it's been almost a month......again. Good Gods my life is dull.

I'm also a little down about a girl I like. See, far as I know, she doesn't know I like her......but I'm too much of a coward to tell her. Hell, even if she did like me too, it's not like we could do anything about it. (long story that I just don't want to get into on here) GRAWR! It's just frustrating y'know? I mean, I know I'm not the only person to ever fall for someone. I know I'm not alone for feeling the way I do. But, I also know that no amount of "I've been there Man." is gonna make me feel better. Grrr. It's just frustrating.

Now, I'm gonna make an attempt to add stuff to my Blog page. *groan* I'm a bit of a computer illit. So this should be fun.*

* By "fun" Mr. Big Shot means, a chore that will likely cause more headaches than it is worth.

Somewhere I Belong

2005-08-28T01:14:00.000-07:00

Ok, so before I begin what is bound to be one of my biggest posts to date, I'd like to apologize for not posting for the last month. It's not that I didn't have interesting things to talk about, such as my friend Jessie visiting from Michigan, or getting a new full time job. But, I knew that I was going to be posting this present entry, and I wanted it to be sort of special, so I waited too long. What can I say, I hesitated. Secondly, as I stated above, this is bound to be my longest entry yet. But, please be patient and read it. It's much appreciated. Maybe your name will be mentioned.

Now then, the reason for the title. "Why pick a Linkin Park song?" you may ask. Well, a little more than a year ago (we'll say a year and a half, just to be safe) I had that song running through my mind. See, I was 25, single (fresh off getting dumped), living with my parents, working the graveyard shift at a Super C (that's a grocery store chain in case you don't know) in a very small town, in which I had very few friends. I know what you're thinking. But no, the honey's weren't beating down my door. I mean, hello...graveyard shift, mid-twenties still living with my parents, what more does a girl need? So, this song related to me. I didn't belong in Pembroke anymore. I needed to be where I did belong. Where I could be happy. So, that song became my mantra. My moto if you will. So, where could I belong? Where could I be happy?. That place was Windsor Ontario. That's right, the dirty W, as my friend Shorty calls it. See, my best friend Adam was going to university in Windsor, so I thought, "I'll move there and hang with him." Unfortuneately, he's since moved back home....which isn't Windsor. (the big shit) But that's ok, because I've met a lot of friends here. But, I'm getting ahead of myself.

See, I wanted to take this opportunity to reflect on what my life would be like if I had stayed in Pembroke. As I had said, I had a couple friends. So, maybe I would have moved out, maybe not. I'm sure if I did, it wouldn't have been until I found a better job. I mean, Super C wasn't a horrible job, but it wouldn't have covered all my bills I'm sure. So, I'm guessing my life would have stayed pretty miserable had I not moved. So, I'm glad I did. Another curiosity though, is what if I had moved...but not to the dirty W? I didn't really tell too many people this, but I was really strongly considering moving to North Bay. One of my sisters lives in North Bay, along with my good friend Ray. Plus, there's a wrestling school there that is much more affordable than the Can-Am Wrestling School here in Windsor. But, ultimately, I decided against it. I could use any number of excuses like, "Ray's my friend and all, but could I stand to live with him?" Truth be told, the answer to that is probably yes. He's a good guy. I could have also said "What if there are no jobs in North Bay?" But really, the reason I didn't pick North Bay is because it was a "safe" choice. North Bay had my sister, and it was only 2 hours away from Pembroke and my folks. I was also strongly considering Kingston. I have quite a few friends there, most of which probably don't know how close I was to moving there. In fact, the only reason I didn't is because Kingston is only about 3 hours away from Pembroke. Another "safe" choice. Plus, most of my Kingston friends were going to be leaving for school. No, if I was going to leave home, if I was going to "grow up" it had to be all or nothing. So, as I crossed the city line, I rolled down my window and yelled, "HEY WINDSOR! I'M JEFF DEHAAN AND I'M HERE TO KICK YOUR ASS!!!" I then spent the next 6-8 months having my ass handed to me time and again by the city of Windsor. But I didn't tap out. I didn't give up. Despite having shit job after shit job. Let's see.....3 factory jobs, a warehouse job which had me working at even more factories, I worked at a Zellers (graveyard shift), I cleaned up an oil spill, got a keyholder (kind of an assistant assistant manager) position at a Dollarama...and was fired a week shy of 3 months later. They said it was because I left the safe open overnight. But I know they fired me because of my views on 'Nam....that and I was stealing projectors. Despite living in a slanted, overpriced, under-maintained house. Despite not finding a single woman in Windsor that wasn't a bar or club chick, that would want to go out with me. Despite all that, I'm here, and I'm happy.

I have met so many people that I wouldn't have met had I not moved here. People like the Windsor wrestlers. Both Backyard and professional. Chazy (ok, so I met you before I moved), Brad (Rage), Dan (Pudge), Holler (aka Chris aka Chad), Ian (Shorty), C0-V (Covey), Brian (Timebomb), and a ton of others, but I only have so much space. Sorry guys. You know who you are.

I've met a lot of great people. One who deserves a mention all on his own is Cannibal Cirk. (pronounced "Kirk" but doesn't the double C thing just look nifty?) He's one person I know I can count on. He's always looked out for me from day one. He's the hardest working man I know. I have a ton of respect for him. Probably more than he knows.

Other honorable mentions are my current roommates, Amanda & Tristen. I wasn't sure what to expect moving in with them. I mean, #1 I'd be living with a couple. And being that I had been, and still am, single I wasn't sure if I'd feel like a third wheel. Also, #2 I wasn't sure how it would work since I didn't know either of them really well. I had hung out with Amanda some, but had only met Tristen once prior to moving in. See, I was living with Adam and a guy named John before that. Things didn't go well. John and I sort of parted ways after I moved out. I personally think he turned into a jerk. But that's just me. I am a little saddened though. Him and I had had some cool times hanging out. Also in that house, I wound up at Adam's throat and vice versa a couple of times. Didn't help that Adam and myself were sharing a room, not just the roof over our heads. Not enough space and just not fun. But all's well now that we're all out of that house. So, I wasn't sure if Amanda, Tristen and myself would get along. Was I ever wrong. We have gotten along great. We're like family. Tristen's a great guy. We get along and revel in each other's geekery. (He's a role-playing game guy, and I am too as well as a comic geek, etc) And Amanda, I have learned so much from her. From having a deeper appreciation for David Bowie, to her introducing me to Wicca. I've learned a lot in the year that I've been here. But most of it, I learned in the last 5 months. And I have Amanda to thank for it. Thank you my Wiccan sister.

Speaking of Wiccan sisters, Joanna. She's a great spirit to be around. I absolutely adore her. If nothing else, Joanna has taught me to feel better about myself. This may not be a long blurb, but that shouldn't detract from what she means to me. Thank you.

Another quick shout out to someone I probably wouldn't have met had I not moved to Windsor is Andrea. Ah my little Drea. Funny thing is, she doesn't live in Windsor. She lives in the Toronto area. I met her online. See, I never had the net at home. (damn parents and their fear of technology!) So, I probably wouldn't have found the forum where we met had I not moved here. But she's a sweetheart nonetheless and can always cheer me up when I'm down. One of a kind Drea, one of a kind.

Another nice plus to moving to Windsor has been volunteering for Border City Wrestling. Which sadly, I may not be able to do as much with my new job. I have met a ton of cool people through it. Like El Reverso, Tim Titan, Eddie Venom, CK3, and a ton of others. My fellow volunteers as well. But, one of the coolest things about BCW, is getting to meet wrestlers like Chris Sabin, Petey Williams, Bobby Roode, and a whole host of other NWA-TNA stars. I have also had the pleasure of meeting Jimmy Hart (the nicest man in pro wrestling), Mick Foley, Bret Hart, and one of my idols, Raven. And of course, the man who has become a bad influence on me (Cannibal knows what I mean) Sabu. I've come to realize that (especially thanks to Sabu), the pedistal shouldn't be so high. These people are, just that, real people. Yeah, they're on TV every week. They've travelled around the world. But they are still no different than you and me, even though some may act like it. A lot of them are still humble and don't have an ego.

An old friend of mine, Leigh-Ann, from high school who I sadly have lost touch with, used to say, "Better to take a chance than to lose a chance." Well, I'm entirely grateful that I took this chance. As I said, I wasn't happy anymore in Pembroke. I probably would have been miserable if I stayed. I mean sure, Windsor hasn't been perfect. The whole 7 months I lived in that first house, I didn't once pay rent on time. I've had to live off of my VISA's when between jobs, which has subsequently sent them both up to over $700 a piece. I've had times when I couldn't afford to take care of my car. (as it stands, I'm way past due for an oil change) I've moved to a city probably more than double the size of Pembroke, but I'm still single. But you know what? That's life. And I've lived. What's life without a few scares? It isn't really living if you're always "playing it safe". Now, I've got a full time job. A factory job yes, but it pays the bills. And in time, will pay off my credit cards. Hell, I'll be able to afford new glasses. (The crazy glue on my current ones is getting old. Man I'm pathetic. Heh.)

So, to all of you, my loyal readers and friends (you'd have to be loyal to read this far) all I can tell you is to live. Take a chance from time to time. True, it may not pay off. It may make things worse for you. But it will make you stronger. You will get nowhere playing it safe, or being a "yes man" all of your life. So take risks, take chances, and LIVE YOUR LIFE.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and kick Windsor's ass.

Jeff

Romance, The Other White Meat

2005-07-28T16:52:00.000-07:00

As I sit here with the cat on my lap, I look down at her want for affection. Not because of who I am, but simply because she's been by herself for a lot of the day. Admittingly, this has nothing to do really with the subject matter of todays entry. I just like the cat, and it's rare that she shows affection to me. Usually it's in a case just like this, I'm the only option. It's 'look to Jeff for affection or don't get petted at all'. Ah, the life of a cat. I'm envious. But, I digress.

The topic of today is romance & relationships. I've been thinking a lot about these two things as of late. Mostly because, in the last week, three of my friends have ended relationships, either mutually or dumping, or getting dumped. And seeing this happen to my friends, and not be able to really do anything to help, aside from the customary shoulder to cry on, kinda sucks. I don't like it when my friends are down in the dumps. But, seeing this happen to the people around me has caused me to look at my past relationships.

See, I've come to realize that with the low self esteem I had, if I found out a girl liked me, and I kinda liked her, I went for it. Problem being, back then, I'm not sure if I really knew the difference between liking a girl, and "liking" a girl. I probably still don't. I mean hell, there's girls I like now, but which "like" is it? It's frustrating. It doesn't help that there's always extenuating circumstances that get in the way too. Like, "what'll this do to our friendship" or "It's just too long distance". The fact that I'm a big ol' fraidy-cat when it comes to talking to a girl about my feelings doesn't help either.

However, I have noticed one thing. There is pretty much nothing that links my ex's together. Not one common trait, aside from maybe hair color. I mean, a couple of them were kinda the quiet type, but not all of them. Realizing this led me to wonder, what is my type? I really don't know. I mean, I know qualities or traits that I like, but none of my old girlfriends embodied many of them. It can be a rather confusing entity this "love" thing.

Another thing I've come to terms with is being single. I always hated being single. Alone. But, I haven't had a girlfriend in nearly 2 years. (I think it's three months shy of two years, right now) And in that time, hell mostly in the last 2 or 3 months, I've really stared to figure out who I am. I'm more than some chicks boyfriend. I'm begining to see what I really want out of a relationship. And more than anything, I now know that it's OK to be alone. To have some 'me time'.

So, I'm in no hurry. Am I lonely? Yeah, a little. I mean, I do still miss being in a relationship. But it'll all work out. Bottom line is, I don't want to jump into anything unprepared. I mean sure that can be fun an' all, but I'm sick of things being the same. But, most importantly right now, I'm happy. YAY Me!!!!!!!

OK, so whether you wanted to here about my feelings on love and relationships, you got it anyways. But, if you've read this far, then maybe you did want to know how I feel. (awww)

Til next time friends.