Tuesday, October 25, 2005
No Sex
Greetings True Believers,
Here I sit, listening to the ever-sexy-sounds of the Deftones, and I'm thinking about sex.
See, I found out recently, that two friends of mine, who met thru me, and hardly know each other, slept together a few months back. Now, I'm not judging either of them here, it's just where my frame of mind is coming from. I was a little surprised mind you, but at the same time, I felt like I shouldn't have been. I mean, neither of them are strangers to casual sex. (Note: I am in no way putting either person down, or implying they are whore-ish, not that you neccessarily thought that, just covering my own ass I suppose) It just got me thinking, I mean, pretty much the general consensus of society is "Yay casual sex" yet here I am, twenty-six years old, and I've slept with only two different women. Both of which were my respective girlfriend at the time. Now, I'm not trying to be negative or say "what's wrong with me?" Hell, I know there's nothing wrong with me when it comes to that. I just get frustrated because my feelings tend to get in the way a lot.
Plain and simple, I'm not sure if I could do the casual sex thing. I mean, I never have so how am I to know? And pretty much every friend I have has done the casual sex dealie, so why not me? Why? WHY? Because I care too much, that's why. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I fall too easily with some girls.
I guess it's just frustrating because it's been two years since my last relationship, thus, it's been two years since the last time I took a spin between the sheets. So, I don't see me getting a girlfriend any time soon, mostly due to my lack of patience. Therefore, if I stay the same course I'm on, I won't get laid any time soon either. And that just plain sucks. So, the question is, where do I go from here?
Ugh, this entry sounded so much better in my mind. It's become more chaotic and just a rant, which wasn't my original vision. I just don't know why I can't look at sex and see, sex. I wind up seeing the whole relationship and everything. Like, I've fooled around with girls, but then afterwards, I get rather 'boyfriendy' meaning, I'm kinda clingy and want to be around the person, and occassionally "Hun" or "Sweety" or "Babe" comes out. Those are usually typical "girlfriend names" tho. So that's the stem of my problem. I just want to care too much. I want the relationship. I try to see more than what's right in front of me.
I just want to be able to sleep with a girl, and not wind up hurt if she meets another guy.
Here I sit, listening to the ever-sexy-sounds of the Deftones, and I'm thinking about sex.
See, I found out recently, that two friends of mine, who met thru me, and hardly know each other, slept together a few months back. Now, I'm not judging either of them here, it's just where my frame of mind is coming from. I was a little surprised mind you, but at the same time, I felt like I shouldn't have been. I mean, neither of them are strangers to casual sex. (Note: I am in no way putting either person down, or implying they are whore-ish, not that you neccessarily thought that, just covering my own ass I suppose) It just got me thinking, I mean, pretty much the general consensus of society is "Yay casual sex" yet here I am, twenty-six years old, and I've slept with only two different women. Both of which were my respective girlfriend at the time. Now, I'm not trying to be negative or say "what's wrong with me?" Hell, I know there's nothing wrong with me when it comes to that. I just get frustrated because my feelings tend to get in the way a lot.
Plain and simple, I'm not sure if I could do the casual sex thing. I mean, I never have so how am I to know? And pretty much every friend I have has done the casual sex dealie, so why not me? Why? WHY? Because I care too much, that's why. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I fall too easily with some girls.
I guess it's just frustrating because it's been two years since my last relationship, thus, it's been two years since the last time I took a spin between the sheets. So, I don't see me getting a girlfriend any time soon, mostly due to my lack of patience. Therefore, if I stay the same course I'm on, I won't get laid any time soon either. And that just plain sucks. So, the question is, where do I go from here?
Ugh, this entry sounded so much better in my mind. It's become more chaotic and just a rant, which wasn't my original vision. I just don't know why I can't look at sex and see, sex. I wind up seeing the whole relationship and everything. Like, I've fooled around with girls, but then afterwards, I get rather 'boyfriendy' meaning, I'm kinda clingy and want to be around the person, and occassionally "Hun" or "Sweety" or "Babe" comes out. Those are usually typical "girlfriend names" tho. So that's the stem of my problem. I just want to care too much. I want the relationship. I try to see more than what's right in front of me.
I just want to be able to sleep with a girl, and not wind up hurt if she meets another guy.
